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Snowflake Challenge Day 12

What makes you fannish? And by that we mean, what is it about a tv show/movie/book/band/podcast/etc that takes you from, "Yeah, I like that," to "I need MOAR!!!" Is it a character? A plotline? The pretty? Subtext that’s just screaming to be acknowledged?

Fannishness crept up on me in increments. I've written about this before, but I only really realised I was fannish when I had the vocabulary to put a name to the behaviour.

Going to X-Files parties back in the '90s with like minded people to watch favourite episodes could rightly be called fannish, but at the time I just thought I was going to watch a programme I was into with other people who were into it as well.

Then there are degrees of fannishness. I'm madly anticipating the new six-parter X-files, but I've never had any desire to read the fic. I read The Sentinel fic like it was going out of fashion for a few years, but only gave season 1 of the show a cursory watch and haven't rewatched - but oh boy the fic... I got bored with NCIS fic, because there's only so much wooby Tony I can take, and around the same time I got bored with the series, but I'm very glad I was there at the time. And Sherlock, glorious Sherlock - I love the show and I love the fic, but I'm no Cumberbitch, however pretty he is, I don't go out of my way to watch him in other things if he's on.

So yeah, degrees of fannishness - it might be a character, or a show, or the fic, there's something different pressing the buttons each time with any of these.

But then there was Buffy...

The difference is that with all those other fandoms I never had any desire to really participate. I was mainly a consumer. But with Buffy I wanted to be a participant. And it's no surprise to anyone that it was one character that made me want that. Mr Xander Harris take a bow. I'm a sidekick, it's my personality and the portrayal of Xander fascinated me - especially as the teenage boy in the midst of all these strong women. (and I should say I'm neither a teenager or a boy...) And don't get me wrong, I adored these strong women, but something about Xander that really spoke to me and made me want to take him apart and see what made him tick - if that's not too serial killer of me.

At first, I satisfied my curiosity by reading other people's take on how he ticked (and some of those takes are pretty damn weird, but hey each to his own - it's been said that both Xander and Spike are the little black dresses of Buffy fandom). Finally I started to explore my own take, in my own writing. because I had stuff in my head and the only way to read it was to write it myself. And what I found was that that I didn't have one take on the character, I had lots, and it was fun exploring them. And in that exploration I discovered I liked exploring some of the other characters too. I like wondering about 'what ifs' and 'might have beens' and 'what the hells...' The possibilities are endlessly seductive, even now.

So for me, my ultimate expression of fannishness is shaped by my love of a character, and through that by the love of the show and all the other characters, and of the friendships I've gained along the way. Once I'd discovered that, well there was no going back. So now I have a name for it, I can say categorically that I'm a fan, I do fannish things and think fannish thoughts and I'm proud of my fandom and of having the opportunity to be a part of it.
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